How To Market Cars To Rednecks!

Well the easiest way is to sell pickup trucks and SUVS, but this post is about marketing "cars" to rednecks. Ah sounds difficult! Most rednecks drive beat up old Impalas from the 80s that are falling apart and probably aren't street legal. Rednecks rarely buy new cars. Who is daring enough to take on this challenge?
Well first off, it would HAVE to be a domestic car maker. So we've narrowed it down to three car makers. I'd say they're on the verge of bankruptcy, but that's all three!
Well this company already has a leg up on marketing to rednecks, because they have Christ in their name...well kind of.
Yes, Chrysler has made it their mandate to sell to rednecks. Well this is my guess at least. It's not like the publicized this through a press release or anything. I've just come to this conclusion from two points of analysis.

1) Their cars look like trucks!
2) The names of their cars.

So let me first talk about the look of these vehicles. I frequently get rental cars and to my disgust the new Caliber is one I typically get, until recently. I've told the girls to find me an alternative car now one. Anyways, the first time I got the Caliber I thought, "What a god awful creation this is!" I actually thought it could give the Aztec competition for ugliest vehicle ever!
So I drive out to my site visit and before I can get out of the car the hydro foreman, whom I had to meet, comes up to me and says, "what a nice car!" He wasn't being sarcastic. I don't mean to generalize, but most labourers are rednecks. It's not really a choice they can make. Their friends, colleagues, are rednecks. Much to my shock, Chrysler had created the perfect redneck car. Sales are doing well. How did they do this?
The car is meant to compete with the likes of the Matrix/Vibe. It has a similar frame, but the front of the car looks like they Dodge Trucks. It's so FUGLY!

So I've shown how the design is attractive to rednecks, but this is probably the most shocking decision Chrysler made in marketing to rednecks. The name! Caliber, Magnum...do you see a trend?
What do rednecks like more than beating their wives? GUNS! Let's name our cars after guns and related terminology. I keep waiting for the Bazooka and Nuclear Warhead vehicles...I'm sure that's next year. Have you noticed how nice vehicles have simple names, A4, NSX, 911 (I'm sure 911 is now copyrighted in the states! Sorry Porsche, find a new name.)

So how long do we give the Ford and GM to follow suit? A year or two and we'll see cars like The Bruiser, Big Penis, Budweiser, Almost a PickUp, The WifeBeater.

Oh well. What can be done?
I'll leave you with some pictures of these atrocities.